What's a girl to do?!

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Estimated reading time: 2 minutes


Well there is a lot I can say about the quote above and I know many women will agree with me. I am not too experienced in relationships but from what I have encountered and what I see happen around me, I have some questions for the guys. So guys don't go, stick around 😉

Let's imagine this scenario. A guy sees a beautiful girl, declares his love or likeness of her to her. She is very casual about it and doesn't get too excited by his profession of love/intense like. He tries again and she agrees to talk on the phone, communicate by text, whatsapp etc. Very soon these two have been talking for quite sometime and get comfortable enough with each other to go on a few 'dates'. The lady obviously now likes this guy enough to consider dating him as a boyfriend. At this point the relationship is not just one-sided and the lady is also investing her time and sometimes calls or texts to check up on him. Few weeks down the line, communication from his side becomes very slow, most times he will not respond to text messages until the next day and the conversation almost seems forced. The conversation goes something like this:

Her: Hey (name), I'm guessing you're at work. Did you have your breakfast or you rushed to work today? How are you?

Him: Hey! Haha...you know the usual. I'm fine.

4 hours later

Him: How are you?

Her: Wow! I guess work is busy. I'm well

Him: Okay's that good. I'll call after work.

The next day, after the work day is over. It's 10pm at night

Awkward tension

Him: Hey! How are you?

[She wonders if she should also wait a day and a half to respond]

In her mind, she now begins to wonder if she should break it off. He wasn't that awkward and busy with work when she knew him at first. What has changed?
And also should she be breaking up with him? She isn't even sure where they stand in their relationship. She is pretty sure he said 'I love you' once or twice before. She didn't respond the first time because she wasn't feeling him but the second time, she said it back. Why is he now acting so awkward and busy? He doesn't even text her until she says hi. 

This is all too much for her. She is bearing the load of the relationship now but he started it in the beginning. When did the relationship become her responsibility to maintain? 
Doesn't it take 2 to tango? 

She thinks she made the wrong decision by not letting him pursue her any longer. She thought she had given him a hard time after turning down his date requests for 6 weeks. She was told by the media, her uncles and her experienced aunties that men like to be the hunters. Right now, she feels like she is pursuing him and not the other way round. They had not been sexually involved because they were both Christians and they didn't get too physical in their contact to avoid having to fight temptations.

She can't answer the question herself so she speaks with her girls and her trusted 'auntie' (P.S: In African culture, your auntie or uncle is not strictly a blood relation, it is someone who is older than you that you pay respect to).

So here is my question. Guys, what is going on in the mind of our brother here? Did our lady here do something wrong? Is he really that busy with work that he cannot maintain an interesting conversation? Or is he simply not interested anymore?

Ladies, share your experiences. Let me know if you have been through similar in the comments section below. It's okay, you can withhold your name.


Sources

Comments

  1. Anonymous4 August 2020 at 07:10

    Hi there, interesting post. As a guy, I would say that simply, he is no longer interested in her? Why? The best person to answer is usually the guy in question.

    That being said, I would hazard a guess that the guy has seen/heard something about or from the girl, that he doesn't like/can't handle; not necessarily something WRONG, just something HE doesn't like, and HE can't handle. It could also be that he's found someone else that he thinks is worth pursuing. It could also be that certain challenges popped up in his life, which meant that he wasn't in the right frame of mind to start a new relationship.

    All in all, I would suggest that in such a situation, the lady doesn't take it personal and let the apparent rejection cut down her perception of herself. She should guard her heart, and be conscious about consuming things that build her up. She should remain friendly with the guy if possible. If she is a Christian, she should pray, for him, for herself - for peace, joy, love, and the will of God to be done, for both of them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Claudia11 August 2020 at 18:43

      Wow! This is very enlightening! Thank you for giving us the guy's perspective, it makes sense now. But I still have questions for the guy and guys who act like that. Shouldn't he be ending the relationship then...if he is not feeling her anymore? Rather than leave her wondering. It's not fair to leave a lady, especially a lady as innocent as she is. I like your advice on her praying and guarding her heart. It's very necessary. Thank you for your contribution

      Delete
  2. Unknown17 August 2020 at 18:56

    Yes I've had a similar experience. The gentleman just isn't ready for a relationship. I agree with the above comment that ladies in such a situation should pray for God's wisdom and answer on the situation. In every endeavour and especially relationship of any sort, one needs God's approval. Thanks Miss Intraordinary for this post. A real eye opener!

    ReplyDelete

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